Greatness of Festivals!

Euphoria of Diwali is about to over!

Its strange, for some Diwali is just another holiday to take a break and lit some diyas just in awe of welcoming Laxmiji. And for some its an occasions to celebrate with vigour and enthusiasm.Importance of Festivals lies in the fact that they add meaning to our existence. Otherwise without these festivals life will be so boring. The other day I was reading one article that with time impact of festivals is getting reduced as people have little time to devote for the preparations of the festivities. Article was specifically regarding the significance of festival delicacies which are now available in the market and very few women prefer to prepare them at home. Kids don’t get to know the importance of these delights as they  never see them being prepared by their mothers. Either they have to wait for their grandmothers or they get it from the market when they want to get the taste.

Isn’t it sad. What I think is all these facts like preparing delicacies at home, drawing rangolis, kids preparing greeting cards, painting diyas, decorating your house, all these things add colour to life.Otherwise its not a big deal to buy things from the market and celebrate the festivals. So many things can be taught, learned, shared amongst the groups while celebrating these festivals. Mathri, gujhia, sev ,samose, and other sweets which are prepared at home have their own value.No doubt its easy to spend some money and buy things from the market but then they will loose its significance.  Target to have these delicacies is not only to eat them but we can really associate sweet memories with them while preparing them at home.

Please don’t let this tradional  aspect of celebrating festivals vanish with time. Its a request to all ladies to, give a thought on it!

How secure is Womenfolk in Delhi streets!

The headline said about the details of the murder of a young , aspiring journalist Saumya while she was returning from her work  late night.

Comments exploded out from different spheres of society. Every individual reacted in their own personal manner. Cops and politician questioned on the courage of the victim to roam around the city during late hours of the day. Woman organisations questioned the ability of the government to take care of the security of the fairer section of the society, media tried to scrutinize the other aspects of the victim’s life and came out with different stories. Ordinary man on the street blasted out the government incapacity to look after the security of the society.

This incidence can be taken just as the other incidences of murders, loots, shootouts, thefts, accidents, or it can force us to ponder upon the gravity of the situation. Shootout happened, no doubt about it, but it happened in wee hours and that is turning the whole story. Instead of searching the culprits, government is questioning on the journalists late working hours! How disgusting.

It really takes lots of hard work, patience, courage, integrity, diligence on the part of any female to come out of the four walls of her house and create her own niche in this world. Woman are known for their multitasking ability.Performing all her roles honestly she tries to give her best to her job also. Saumya must be doing this only.And many times it can happen you have to work late hours.And being in media Field it must had  been a normal routine for her. But what is the result for her performance? She died in such early years of her life!

I don’t know who is this Saumya?How was at her work? What was the reason for being so late ? What I know she was shot and nobody came to her rescue. Once again our police was helpless. This can happen to anybody and anytime. So what we should do?Please comment! We should be in charge for our own security.? Shouldn’t government should make efforts to create such an atmosphere in society so that nobody dares to attempt such shoot outs or any other harmful activity.

I don’t have any authority to question government’s actions. Only I can request Indian government, please , please take such issues seriously. For a healthy society its very necessary that every individual feels secure and can live life fully , without any fear or any stress.

First Indian Olympic gold!

I feel so proud of  Abhinav Bindra for being the first Indian to win Olympic gold for India!

Its a fantastic achievement for this 20 something sportsman. Honestly speaking I was cribbing about India’s performance the other day, how bad we are in sports arena, there is no sportsmanship, why we can’t have chak de story in reality and why we don’t promote sports in our schools.

After experiencing Singapore way of life for a year I was desiring for so many things which we can have in India and promotion of sports is one of those things. This is a fact that any kind of sport helps in having good health and activity in life. In Singapore playing Badminton, Tennis, Golf, going for swimming at weekends is a part of life , but in our place in India we have to think twice if we want to pursue some sports hobby  due to lack of facilities.When we worry of putting weight we think of joining gym rather than going for some sports activity.

Noway I am criticizing India. But just want to appeal to concerned authorities to take steps to provide sports facilities within the city. We always criticize our sportsman lack that spirit for sports. But why don’t we look at the reasons behind this disappointment.There is so much politics, lack of accessible sports facilities, lack of promotion for sports in school, low economic profile etc.

In our country Cricket is the only game which has got recognition, charm, and attraction.But no other game.

What  I think  its the matter of attitude. As individuals we have to bring that change in that attitude of not giving importance to sports in our life and in our kids life.So if we really want more Abhinav Brindas in future then better we start playing!

My Friend Afroz

I came across Afroz in MRT in Singapore.

She was around 28 for age, quite attractive in looks and quite young looking Mom with two kids besides her.Being Indians we greeted Hi to each other and exchanged contact nos and went along our ways with a promise to meet each other. There was some impression she left on me but for reason I was not sure until I met her second time.

I have many friends who are mothers but I never came across a Mother like Afroz who was taking her motherhood job religiously.We met again, we went for outings with each other , we visited each others places and every time I met her I always found something new in her which was so inspirational to me. Afroz is a homemaker and mother of two kids just like any other woman but there is something different in her which is making her special and I consider myself blessed to have such a friend. The best part of her nature is that she will never crib about her bore domewith motherhood and doing regular housechores. Once she had gone through professional phase of her life and now she wants to take her job of motherhood and homemaker professionaly. She very well knows that having a baby is a responsible job. Its only you who is responsible for your kids personality, awareness, confidence. I want to say you yourself should be aware of the facts which can help you to provide that environment to your child which can help him to grow to be happy, confident, and aware person. When kids grow up we say they are shy, they are not confident, they don’t speak to you. But that time is late to take any action.Its the childhood which demands most of the time from parents. and then its not only time, mind you, the quality time you spend will matter in a long race. Mind you she is not having any maid for her help and she went about her delivery with the second baby on her own with little help from some maid and that too for few days. She is an avid reader and she follows all the guidance provided in parenting book religiously. In a way she is raising her kids following the parenting books. She is spending quality time with her both kids by taking them to swimming pool, library, outings, parks and other places of interest. For her spiritual growth she is following books by Dalai Lama and other self improvement books.When you meet her kids you will find them so happy always. They are carrying out all activities as per their age fantastically.She was reading to her kids when there were of few months age only and her elder one is about to start reading.

She is full of positive energy that You just can’t ignore her. She is really an inspirational source to all mothers who is devoted to her motherhood job from dil se. Hats off to you Afroz dear!

Chak de!

Wonders can be done if we are united.

I went through real life experience recently where I felt the power of the group effort done with dedication and honesty.

It was a sheer pleasure of participating and then winning  a inter-racial group dance competition in Singapore with my Orkut friends. I must say women bonding is amazing. We were friends virtually till sometimes back.Discussing, sharing, interacting our views in one of the community of orkut platform. Initiative of participating in the dance competition was taken by one person. Then others joined her. concept was thought out, music was planned out, costumes were designed up, rehearsals were carried out.With single minded aim that we can bring the difference.

It was a feeling of going back to college days. There were times when everybody felt low. It was not easy to co-ordinate together. Managing a group of 20 ladies was not an easy task. But we did it. Some of them were working ladies, and some were mothers too. In-spite of that they turned up for rehearsals and participated in all related activities. Our Indian spirit of Chak de was prevalent in every team member which helped us to win the prize. Judges themselves were totally amazed that how we did it? Meeting and interacting with everybody virtually and then getting together for practise sessions is not an easy task. One Chinese participant was also there and hats off to her spirit that she never backed out being the only Chinese in the group.

This experience is forcing me to ponder that if we can accomplish this then why not any task which can be for the betterment of the society or for any cause. I think its the matter of attitude. Thats all. Initiative has to be taken and then inputs have to be made followed with the single minded dedication and participation.

Couple communication!

I am wondering why I am writing on this topic but some observation has provoked me to right about it!

Its quite interesting to observe the pattern of communication between different couples. Nowadays there are different kinds of marriages so same way different levels of communication level also. Well, there are love marriages, arranged marriages, Internet marriages. Some love marriages are based on love at first sight , some are based on having a long courtship period.What I have observed that couple who had love marriage have a little ease of communication level between them. I mean they are more open in their thoughts and they have that twinkle in their eye for each other which is missing in an arranged marriage couple in the initial years of their marriage. Though its not a regular pattern as exceptions are always their and with time also as they understand each other better such openness comes in between them.

As a COUPLE  some mandatory communications are always their between every couple. How was the day? What you had in your lunch? Did you called up mummy? Have you paid the house bills?etc, etc. When you stay together you have to arrange a set up around yourself to have a comfortable life. So many talks come up because of this set up only. And after having a kid many talks happen to be regarding his activities throughout the day. But is that enough. I mean two persons staying together, but living in their own worlds, own dreams, hopes, frustration joy. I have seen many couples are walking together but lost in their own world.They are together but they are not.Nobody utters a single world. Isn’t it thought provoking.? I mean you are into a relationship with each other, you are staying together, you  are bonded with each other through marriage bond and still you don’t have anything to talk with each other leaving the regular marriage talks. In some book I read nowadays ‘Relationships are disposable.Marriage and family are are matters of contract  and convenience rather than commitment and integrity’.Is this a fact? Life will become so dull if one has to be in a relationship which is mere a contract for them.

If we look in our past  do you remember the communication between your grandparents , there was hardly except like from the grandmother side’ There is no sugar at home.Get some sugar first.’ Or from Grandpa side ‘Where you have kept my shirt!’. In their time woman were given less freedom in every Field so that happened for field of self expression also. Then as they grew old level of communication reduced because they never tried to know each other as individual person. I really feel so bad when any aged couple is sitting for hours on a coffee table without uttering a word.  With our parents things improved in some way as mothers got more power to take family decisions. Fathers being on work hardly devoted time at home so it was mother who made him aware of family happenings and other activities regarding family. But today’s time has changed a lot. With both husband wife working its responsibility on both individuals to carry the relationship. Any couple is having a healthy relationship only when both are aware of others as individuals, about each other dreams and each other passions. What things make each happy, what makes each other sad, what can we do to make the other person happier. Those thoughts require some amount of time which every couple should prioritize to take out from their busy schedule. If you are not selfish then you will defintiely take the time out. Otherwise you yourself are responsible for your bad relations.

I think the major reason for loose marriages, or marriages without vigour and romance are due to lack of meaningful communication between the couple. It appears with time we start taking each other for granted and we have so much egos within ourselves that we hardly take the initiative to invigorate our relationship. Folks, what I think thats the biggest mistake we do. We think that why me, why not he takes the initiative. Thats obvious as responsibility lies on both persons in the relationship  so both have  to work upon it together.But think about the objective of your initiative. As your relationship will improve your quality of life will improve. Your life will be more meaningful. Time lost can never be gained back so why to waste the important period of your life so better take the initiative.So get up and start commuinicating!

Reflections down from memory lane!

Times have changed and so the way we live!

Down in my memory lane when I go I remember how things were different for our family. Take any aspect of life and see the change whether its the eating habits, shopping pattern, social circle pattern, or  the   family pattern. Definitely changes are positive and in our favour only.But there are some things which we really miss.

 Malls  have changed the concept of shopping.It has made it more glamorous, more entertaining and more interesting as you have so many shops to go through before making your first choice. I remember with my family we always went for shopping around festivals and there were limited shops to explore. Eating out at that time was not in fashion. Those outings which used to be monthly or on the occasion of birthdays or marriage anniversaries have been replaced by weekend outing.Nobody sits at home during weekends. We can say that its because may be our spending power has increased but still the feeling which we got at that time of having family get together in some restaurant was incomparable.Nowadays kids don’t get that feeling as thats a usual thing for them. May be the feeling of having a proper dinner together with whole family at home has become a rare commodity as most of the couples are working.

I miss those vendors who used to go around places carrying their cart of chats, or pop corns, and even ice creams. I know my son will never get that charm of suddenly hearing the street vendors call and rushing towards the gate and demanding his parents to get a ice cream cone for him. We can say that nowadays its not safe as per health point of view.

That Day while chatting with my friend she told me that she has joined stiching classes just for the sake of continuing the tradiition of stiching at home by her mother and grandmother.Sounds interesting! Our mothers kept themselves busy by stiching, sewing, cooking, knitting, preparing all those delicious pickles, papads, sweets. She was always delighted and I always observed a feeling of fulfillment on her face whenever she did such creative work.Wether it was making a dress for me, or preparing delicious food for us. Today everything is available in the market. Pickles, papads, sweets, there are so many brands selling packaged food. We can say that this has made life easy for working woman.As she is always in crunch of time , such  availability of packaged food in the market has saved her family to be deprived of so many tastes which they deserve. For homemeakers we can say they  have to devote very less time in kitchen now , and this has really helped them to create out niche for themselves out of home boundaries. They can enjoy other things in life as they have more free time with them. But what I think everybody should inherit these talents to prepare such delicacies, and stiching, knitting hobbies from their mothers. Its there choice to prepare it or not but atleast this way such talents will not come to verge of extinction. Otherwise the future generations will here these talents as once upon a time  happening talents. That will be really shame ful for us.

Change is the necessity of life. But with time if some things never change and such small pleasures always remain with us then it will help us to make life full of life. Otherwise we will forget to feel the happiness in such pleasures and in a way become the techno robots who is always looking for materialistic pleasures in life.

 

My Kid’s First Day at School!

I missed him so much!

Today was my son’s first day at his new school. He went in a school bus and came back in school bus and there he was standing, smiling at me. I was wondering how he will behave, how he will eat without me, and how he will go around without me.! What a relief for me.He is a big boy now.

 For last three years motherhood has given different meaning to my life. Since I conceived motherhood was in a way full-time job for me.Surfing Internet sites about baby’s proper development, following all the do’s and dont’s, then after delivery enjoying the bonding with my kid. As he was growing up it was so exciting to wait for all his new activities. The first words, the first walk, the first talk, the first smile. I still think  I could have filled his scrap book with so many first’s which I realize now. I was always worried about his eating habits, his potty training, was always searching for friends having same age kids  so that we can share our experiences and learn from each other. All  anxieties about his falling sick, of his fussy food habits were managed by assurance of such friends  only , besides guidance by the elderlies of the family.. Going through all the new emotions, body changes, relationships changes and routine changes it was a journey full of new experiences. I have changed a lot after this experience.

And now here is my darling kid full of confidence to deal with the world in my absence and is prepared to live his life. I am happy also and sad too.I have enjoyed every moment of motherhood in his first three years. And suddenly life has changed. On my part I tried my best to give him the best. I must say its not easy to be mother. Its a 24hrs job which demands lots of inputs. You are  responsible for your kid’s health, his personality development, his social activities, his intellectual growth and above all his emotional development. Lots of books are their about parenting are there which can guide you about the right concepts of parenting. Every mother should read those books. You will never realize yourself that how your behaviour, your reaction to his activities, your own behaviour can effect your kid’s personality in long term.

I hope  and I pray that my kid grows out to be wonderful person and he enjoys the best things in life. I will never forget these three years of my life in which I build up a special bond with him. May God bless him!

 

Zero figure fantasy!

It appears every female is talking about her waist size nowadays and is following her dream to achieve the so called zero size tag for her apparels!

Whenever I have interacted with a group of females the topic of weight reduction has always been there. Somebody wants to start swimming, the other wants to go for jogging, or gym also seems to be good choice for some. Kareena Kapoor’s recent  looks in new film Tashan has given boost to the zero figure craze.

Well, in a way it is good as such fantasies at least motivate females to go for a healthy lifestyle. The mere thought of weight reduction prompt them to go for some exercise routine that is good for their own health. But the desire of attaining slim figure becomes dangerous when it is resulted in an obsession and leads to hazardous consequences for the ladies. Some gals go to that extent that they simply stop eating and survive on water or juice. Earlier I used to mock such gals but recently when I have started comparing myself with the glamour media around, where every leading add protagonist is shown having such a slim and trim body, that compels you to workout to achieve those vital statistics. It gives you a sense of satisfaction that you are going along  with the world.

Going for activities for weight reduction purpose will prove helpful to you only if you are regular with it. I have seen girls having lots of enthu before going for their weight reduction programme but its very tough for them to follow the routine religiously. Moreover till the period they are controlling their eating habits under some trainer its helpfull to them in reducing their weight. But the moment they are out of the trainer guidance all control over eating habits vanishes and then they eat more and hence put on more weight.

The motto is not only to have a good figure but also to have a healthy body also. Just check and be aware of what you are eating and how much is the quantity. Weather you are working or not lifestyle effects all the segments of the society. Try to follow the healthy lifestyle, don’t follow sedentary life. Involve yourself  in some activities.Nowadays media has spread so much awareness regarding healthy lifestyle that nobody needs the guidance. The need is to actually follw the guidance and enjoy the benefits of healthy lifestyle.

Its a very common reaction when we meet some friends after a long time and comment on her looks that how slim you are looking or how fat! These comments also become the reason for our slim figure fantasy. So just see if you can change your comment to ‘How Healthy are you looking!’ Then the motivation will be to look healthy not to starve yourself for figure zero. So work out for healthy looks rather than zero looks:)!

Maids factor!

I never knew it will be  interesting to observe work culture in maids segment in India, until I experienced the way of life in some other countries!

Life is somehow easy in India for working females as they can have so many helping hands around them to manage their homes with office.Its quite interesting to see how easily you can have different maids for different work , like one for cooking, one for cleaning,other for looking after kids and home. This can give you relaxation of mind which can help you to devote more time to your work. This scene is not same in other countries. Its not affordable to have maids as they are employed through maid agencies on contract for two years.Some work part time also,  who charge you exorbitantly at the rate of per hour. This is the scene in eastern countries. In western countries this system of hiring maids is not available and if is present then unthinkable by the common man.

To have maid or not, its your personal choice.But I must tell you its quite interesting to see the difference in attitude everywhere. In Singapore  part time  maids  are very professional. They will do their work diligently and they will be always punctual. Full time maids are trained for their work and they know very well how to carry out their work properly. Nobody can guess by their dressing sense that they are working as maids as they carry their working dress separately which they bring to their employer’s house along with them. One of the very entertaining facts about maids which I observed during my stay in Singapore was that some homemakers, in families which had maids of Malaysian and Indonesian origin, were having strange problem of confused identity by the surrounding neighbourhood as by looks maids appeared to be the boss and vice versa. Therefore they never preferred going out with their maids.

In India its not tough to hire a maid. There are several options available around you to click for a maid.though its not tough to get maid as you can get through word of mouth.You can just inform the guard of the society or your neighbour, you will easily receive number of maids knocking your door for the job.But the guarranty is not that you will be happy with her performance. She might have her own demands from you before accepting your work conditions. Some may ask for monthly breaks, some maybe techno savvy and may ask to use yr PC once a while for chatting purpose with her son. Some will like to take their work orders through SMSs.

There is lots of Union baji in maids group of any society.They decide their own rates, if anyhow you had some differences with one maid then it will be tough to get some other maid in that society. Everybody will be against you and then you have to compromise on thir demands.

Whatever be the experience! May be today’s generation of maids are also changing their workculture as the other segments of the society. Otherwise once upon a time maid of any family was just like the other member of the family who was given due respect and she herself was very loyal by nature. Happy Maid hunting!