Chak de!

Wonders can be done if we are united.

I went through real life experience recently where I felt the power of the group effort done with dedication and honesty.

It was a sheer pleasure of participating and then winning  a inter-racial group dance competition in Singapore with my Orkut friends. I must say women bonding is amazing. We were friends virtually till sometimes back.Discussing, sharing, interacting our views in one of the community of orkut platform. Initiative of participating in the dance competition was taken by one person. Then others joined her. concept was thought out, music was planned out, costumes were designed up, rehearsals were carried out.With single minded aim that we can bring the difference.

It was a feeling of going back to college days. There were times when everybody felt low. It was not easy to co-ordinate together. Managing a group of 20 ladies was not an easy task. But we did it. Some of them were working ladies, and some were mothers too. In-spite of that they turned up for rehearsals and participated in all related activities. Our Indian spirit of Chak de was prevalent in every team member which helped us to win the prize. Judges themselves were totally amazed that how we did it? Meeting and interacting with everybody virtually and then getting together for practise sessions is not an easy task. One Chinese participant was also there and hats off to her spirit that she never backed out being the only Chinese in the group.

This experience is forcing me to ponder that if we can accomplish this then why not any task which can be for the betterment of the society or for any cause. I think its the matter of attitude. Thats all. Initiative has to be taken and then inputs have to be made followed with the single minded dedication and participation.

Couple communication!

I am wondering why I am writing on this topic but some observation has provoked me to right about it!

Its quite interesting to observe the pattern of communication between different couples. Nowadays there are different kinds of marriages so same way different levels of communication level also. Well, there are love marriages, arranged marriages, Internet marriages. Some love marriages are based on love at first sight , some are based on having a long courtship period.What I have observed that couple who had love marriage have a little ease of communication level between them. I mean they are more open in their thoughts and they have that twinkle in their eye for each other which is missing in an arranged marriage couple in the initial years of their marriage. Though its not a regular pattern as exceptions are always their and with time also as they understand each other better such openness comes in between them.

As a COUPLE  some mandatory communications are always their between every couple. How was the day? What you had in your lunch? Did you called up mummy? Have you paid the house bills?etc, etc. When you stay together you have to arrange a set up around yourself to have a comfortable life. So many talks come up because of this set up only. And after having a kid many talks happen to be regarding his activities throughout the day. But is that enough. I mean two persons staying together, but living in their own worlds, own dreams, hopes, frustration joy. I have seen many couples are walking together but lost in their own world.They are together but they are not.Nobody utters a single world. Isn’t it thought provoking.? I mean you are into a relationship with each other, you are staying together, you  are bonded with each other through marriage bond and still you don’t have anything to talk with each other leaving the regular marriage talks. In some book I read nowadays ‘Relationships are disposable.Marriage and family are are matters of contract  and convenience rather than commitment and integrity’.Is this a fact? Life will become so dull if one has to be in a relationship which is mere a contract for them.

If we look in our past  do you remember the communication between your grandparents , there was hardly except like from the grandmother side’ There is no sugar at home.Get some sugar first.’ Or from Grandpa side ‘Where you have kept my shirt!’. In their time woman were given less freedom in every Field so that happened for field of self expression also. Then as they grew old level of communication reduced because they never tried to know each other as individual person. I really feel so bad when any aged couple is sitting for hours on a coffee table without uttering a word.  With our parents things improved in some way as mothers got more power to take family decisions. Fathers being on work hardly devoted time at home so it was mother who made him aware of family happenings and other activities regarding family. But today’s time has changed a lot. With both husband wife working its responsibility on both individuals to carry the relationship. Any couple is having a healthy relationship only when both are aware of others as individuals, about each other dreams and each other passions. What things make each happy, what makes each other sad, what can we do to make the other person happier. Those thoughts require some amount of time which every couple should prioritize to take out from their busy schedule. If you are not selfish then you will defintiely take the time out. Otherwise you yourself are responsible for your bad relations.

I think the major reason for loose marriages, or marriages without vigour and romance are due to lack of meaningful communication between the couple. It appears with time we start taking each other for granted and we have so much egos within ourselves that we hardly take the initiative to invigorate our relationship. Folks, what I think thats the biggest mistake we do. We think that why me, why not he takes the initiative. Thats obvious as responsibility lies on both persons in the relationship  so both have  to work upon it together.But think about the objective of your initiative. As your relationship will improve your quality of life will improve. Your life will be more meaningful. Time lost can never be gained back so why to waste the important period of your life so better take the initiative.So get up and start commuinicating!